A Christmas Miracle #1: Bizarre Adventures #34

You know what I love? Christmas. You know what else I love? Comics based on Christmas. So, to that end, how about we do a little series on Christmas themed comics?

 My comic database program got deleted, so I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until next year for me to pull out specific Christmas comics that I want to cover because I love them.

This year you just get to see the Christmas books I've been saving. These were all bought... nearly two years ago, and have been waiting on my shelves to be read -- waiting for a special occasion. And what more special occasion could there be than Christmas?!

None. None more special.

 So let's start this series with Bizarre Adventures #34!

Full Metal Snakeskin

Aaaaaancient scans of Cobra Commander's battle armor from the last few issues of Marvel's original G.I. Joe comic. To date, this design has never received a toyline counterpart, which is kind of striking considering how much the modern G.I. Joe toys take inspiration from the comics. I had attempted to remove the backgrounds from all three of the images, with varying degrees of success. I don't think I have the unaltered versions anymore...
 
Anyway. Using this armor and a specially-manufactured Ninja Disorienting Hallway installed in the Silent Castle, Cobra Commander was able to defeat and capture the then-heroic Storm Shadow. This led to Snake-Eyes mounting a rescue attempt for his sword brother - and surely he'd fall for CC's new tricks, too! However, Snake-Eyes (seen in the background of the third pic) was able to get through the special Ninja Disorienting Hallway by... CLOSING HIS EYES! Then he hit Cobra Commander with a flechette round, because he decided to rescue Storm Shadow in a commando-y way instead of a ninja-y way for some reason. I'm not sure why this ignited CC, but it's been a while since I've read the story. Maybe Snake-Eyes had a flamethrower, too?

Scans from G.I. Joe #150 and 151. Art by Phil Gosier and Crusher Wallace (#150) and Phil Gosier and Scott Koblish (#151).

SLIGHTLY LESS EXTREME TIMES call for SLIGHTLY LESS EXTREME HEROES

At some point in the late 1990s, a small publisher named Bench Press Studios tried to get a license to publish G.I. Joe and Transformers comics. From the Transformers side of things, negotiations don't seem to have gotten very far - Simon Furman has said in the past that the company contacted him, not much more than that - but discussions on the G.I. Joe end seem to have proceeded apace.

Bench Press apparently snagged Marvel G.I. Joe scribe Larry Hama and ex-Infinity Gauntlet/Silver Surfer artist Ron Lim for their proposed G.I. Joe book, and together they produced a cover and four pages worth of material. I don't know how these got into the hands of the G.I. Joe fandom, but I ran into these pages on the YoJoe.com mailing list some years back, and for posterity's sake, am reproducing them here.

Most interesting in this line-up is the inclusion of Dodger, the only surviving member of Battle Force 2000, and the fact Cover Girl has blond hair a la her cartoon miniseries appearance. Plus, hey, Tunnel Rat before he got the big franchise pushes in Sigma Six and Renegades.

Scent of a Venom

The day we stop lethal protecting, Charlie, is the day we die.
(Venom: Along Came a Spider #2, written by Larry Hama, art by Joe St. Pierre and Randy Emberlin)

It Came From The Dollar Bin: Action Force #17

Andrew Sorohan already went on at length about the formatting differences between US and UK comics, so I'll skip any explanations along those lines and go straight to the meat of this week's featured find.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen: It's a story about how Quick Kick from Action Force G.I. Joe totally learned to fight from Shang-Chi, Master of Kung-Fu...by Grant Morrison.