Thugs can't tell it's not bacon.

Seriously, don't.

You guys remember the Punisher Armory, right?  Ten issues of loving descriptions of every firearm, edged weapon, and explosive device in the Punisher's arsenal.  Jeez, ten issues.  People sure loved the Punisher in the '90s.  But even that exhaustive tome didn't cover one of the most devastating weapons in Frank Castle's one-man war on crime. Read on to learn more.

Spider-Island Spider-Mannotations Supplemental - Who the Hell is the Gwen Stacy Clone?

If you're reading this blog, you probably know who Gwen Stacy is.  Spider-Man's girlfriend, pulled off the tricky hairband/go-go boots combo, father killed during Spider-Man/Doc Ock battle, later chucked off a bridge, source of constant guilt.  Pretty straightforward.  (I could also talk about the kids she had with Norman Osborn, but that's a conversation for another day - or preferably, never.)

But what about her clone?  She recently appeared in current Spider-crossover Spider-Island, only to be promptly killed off.  If you aren't a longtime reader, you probably weren't quite sure who she was, why she was still around, or why she was called "Joyce Delaney".  But that's why I'm here.  I'm a living fount of Spider-Man minutia, and I'm going to share it with you whether you like it or not.  So sit back and relax as I tell the terrible tale of the Gwen Stacy clone!  Also, you better make yourself a sandwich or something.  This could take a while.

Yeah, you better get used to saying that, Spidey.
(Amazing Spider-Man #144, art by Ross Andru)

Sal's Sunday Punch #5

Because it's still Sunday somewhere, it's a special COSMIC-POWERED Sal's Sunday Punch!

In 1990's Spectacular Spider-Man #160, written by Gerry Conway with art by Sal Buscema, we're in the middle of Acts of Vengeance, the Marvel event where the villains swapped heroic enemies, in the hopes that, say, if Boomerang couldn't beat Spider-Man, maybe he could beat Hawkeye.  Spoiler: no, he cannot.  Anyway.  Further screwing up the plan is Spider-Man getting crazy-powerful cosmic Captain Universe powers.  See, Captain Universe isn't one guy - there's this powerful energy entity...thing, the Uni-Power, and it gloms onto someone who needs it for some nebulous purpose.  Anyway.  Dr. Doom's noticed this, and he's all about stealing cosmic powers from guys, so he's hauled TESS-1, a super-robot from the '40s, and he's sent it to fight Spider-Man.  See, it was built in case guys like Captain America turned against the government - TESS stands for Total Elimination of Super-Soldiers.

Anyway.

What's important is that there's this robot, and Spider-Man has to punch it really hard.

So hard.

Hulk #178: The Story of Space Jesus.

That was exactly the apostle Mark's
reaction to the crucifixion  too.

So, I've had this old issue of the Hulk sitting in a pile of comics waiting to be read. When I finally read it I realised I would have to share it with you guys. The point of 80 Page Giant is for us contributors to share the stuff that we're reading (or thinking about) that really strikes us. And this sure struck me.

See, I'd long known that Jack Kirby's Him character had been re-imagined as Adam Warlock. I'd also long known that Adam Warlock was kind of a 'space Jesus' type of character. What I hadn't known before was how absolutely freaking literal that was.

So along came Gerry Conway and Tony Isabella to educate me, in Incredible Hulk #178. This issue... this issue... it's a retelling of Christ's crucifixion, starring Adam Warlock as Jesus.

No, I'm not kidding, man. This thing isn't even as subtle about this as a Narnia book. Take a look at that cover. Adam Warlock on a freaking cross. At least Aslan was put to death on a stone table, so you could PRETEND it wasn't a Christian parable.

So let's take a closer look at this thing, shall we?

The Sal Buscema Punch

(Spectacular Spider-Man #149, written by Gerry Conway, art by Sal Buscema)

Sal Buscema has basically drawn everything at this point. If Marvel published a book in the '70s or '80s, Sal Buscema probably penciled or inked an issue of it. He's always been one of my favorite artists - he draws the angriest Hulk, the craziest Green Goblin, and the punching-a-guy-in-the-face-iest Spider-Man. The fights in a Sal Buscema book are invariably crazy - people hit each other so hard there's a little explosion at the point of impact, all while screaming at each other with characteristically angular, over-the-top facial expressions. And when that fight's coming to an end, Spider-Man's going to punch a guy so hard that the guy's gonna flip backwards, a gape-mouthed expression of shock on his face. This happens a lot - so much that I have dubbed it the Sal Buscema Punch.