Okay, spoilers, guys.
Spoilers. I'm super-not-kidding. If you haven't read Amazing Spider-Man #698, you should leave now and read it. Unless you weren't going to read it anyway, in which case keep reading, but it's really good, so you should read it.
 |
| Spoiler space occupied by this thematically-appropriate and also kickass Sal Buscema cover. |
So in the aforementioned issue, by Dan Slott and Rich Elson, Doc Ock pulls a Freaky Friday on Spider-Man, putting his own mind into Spidey's young, healthy body and trapping Pete in Ock's crappy, busted-ass one. Ock's body then promptly goes tentacles-up. So Spider-Man's dead, everybody! Let's go write mean things on the Internet!
Well, not so fast. We've got two issues to go until ASM #700, and if we don't see Peter Parker returning to life in some way, shape, or form, I will eat my Slott-signed copy of Venom: Sinner Takes All #1.
 |
| If you screw me on this one, Slott, that had better be non-toxic ink. |
Furthermore, it's not like this hasn't happened before. In fact, it's happened a
bunch of times. So now, marvel at the
Ten Deaths of Spider-Man!
 |
| #1 |
 |
| #2 |
 |
| #3 |
 |
| #4 |
 |
| #5 |
 |
| #6 |
 |
| #7 |
 |
| #8 |
 |
| #9 |
 |
| #10 |
No What Ifs, no alternate universes, no Ultimate Spider-Man! There were even a couple more, but ten was a nice round number.
So obviously Spider-Man didn't actually die any of these ten times. How did he survive these ten different dooms? Well, you tell me!
Let's make this a little contest. In the comments, tell me how Spider-Man survived one of these deaths. Just one, please - leave some for everybody else. If you get one correct, I'll write an article for this blog on the topic of your choice - within reason. This is kind of a family friendly blog, so I'm not writing erotic MODOK fan-fiction or anything. Also, remember that I'm not a particularly good or serious writer, so if you want a treatise on gender roles in Dave Sim's Cerebus, it's probably going to suck. But apart from that, go nuts.
Death #1 was actually Kaine, Peter's degenerate clone/"brother", in the Spidey suit. sacrificed by the Kravinoff clan to resurrect their pops during the Grim Hunt.
ReplyDeleteCorrect! That is indeed Kaine (who later got better himself, but that's another story).
ReplyDeleteWho's got another one?
#9 was a fantasy/VR world conjured up by Mysterio to benefit Flash Thompson (and/or undo decades of character development because Byrne may have issues). Wasn't even Peter in the costume--in this fantasy he had been crippled by the explosion that irradiated the spider and grafted the mechanical arms to Otto--
ReplyDelete--gee thanks. I thought I had repressed those memories better than that. :)
And that is correct! To be honest, that was the high point of the Mackie/Byrne relaunch (which is admittedly faint praise) for me, but I may have been trapped in a fantasy world myself, thanks to some lovely Byrne art.
ReplyDeleteEight more to go!
#3 was from Kraven's Last Hunt, if I remember correctly. I believe Peter Parker was buried alive? My memory is hazy, but I know that he crawls his way out at some point.
ReplyDeleteClose enough! Peter (and the readers) thought he'd been shot with an actual gun, but it was actually a tranquillizer gun, which put him under (and in suspended animation) for two weeks, after which he dug himself out of the grave.
ReplyDeleteSeven left!
Speaking of seven, #7 is from an Infinity Gauntlet tie-in (barely), in which Peter has a heart attack while trying to save a little girl, but ends up in some sorta limbo where he fights Thanos and ultimately convinces Death to release him for the sake of the little girl who would otherwise go unsaved. It's basically a near-death experience which Peter doesn't remember, and so our hero moves on, having learned nothing! This is perhaps not the best issue of Spider-Man ever.
ReplyDeleteAnother correct answer! While the premise is a little goofy, I still think Ann Nocenti and Rick Leonardi do a fine job on that issue.
ReplyDeleteSix deaths still remain!
It's not a bad issue, and certainly there are far worse, I just remember always being frustrated by it, but that may come from me being 11 or 12 when I first read it!
DeleteNumber 4 is from The Other storyline. He gets killed by Morlun but somehow turns into a cocoon and emerges with some new powers ( which have of course since disappeared ). Probably something to do with 'spider totems' or some such nonsense.
ReplyDeleteAnother correct answer!
ReplyDeleteFive down, five to go!
Number 2 is from the main Infinity Gauntlet series when Thanos and Terraxia slaughtered virtually all the heroes who attacked. Later on Nebula stole the gauntlet and used its power to undo the events of the last twenty-four hours, restoring everyone to life.
ReplyDelete10 is Spider-Man's costume on a skeleton he found on a desert island. I believe he used a gas explosion to fool Venom so Venom would stop coming after him.
ReplyDelete