Let's talk about He-Man.

Ever notice how in some action sequences in comics involving birds to show agitation or intensity they'll have feathers flying off from the bird? I know someone who's noticed this: penciller Phillip Tan on DC's new He-Man and the Masters of the Universe series.

For some reason He-Man has no eyes...
I thought this was an 80s concept not a
90s one...

Oh, you haven't heard of DC's new He-Man and the Masters of the Universe series? Oh, well let me quickly do a synopsis of the first issue for you. In issue one a young woodsman named Adam dreams of being a hero, so he sets out into the wide world only to find it's more dangerous than he expected.

Actually, y'know what? Stuff the synopsis stuff, I'm gunna do a summary of EVERY SINGLE THING that happens in the issue. Let's get started!


So someone is dreaming of being He-man, and fighting alongside some heroes against Skeletor and his men. This turns out to be a woodsman named Adam, the son of a woodsman named Randor who is insane and thinks he's a king. Adam befriends a falcon, who he magically knows is named Zoar. (Literally, it's in-story magic that he knows her name.)

Zoar: The Moltese Falcon.

Adam has another dream, about Skeletor and Castle Grey Skull and realises he needs to follow Zoar out into the world. So he gets someone to look after his father and heads out. He's soon attacked by Beast Man who he defeats using his skills as a woodsman (he even throws his axe at a tree to cut off a branch with which to stab Beast Man, because, y'know, he couldn't just HIT HIM WITH THE AXE). After that he keeps following Zoar, while Beast Man reports back to Skeletor. Skeletor tells Beast Man to alert 'everyone' that they have to kill Adam.

And that's it. Literally every single detail in the entire comic book. You don't need to read it now, there's NOTHING in there that's not in the top two paragraphs.

Oh wait, yes there is. There's Zoar, molting. See for some reason in nearly every action shot of Zoar flying in this book she's losing feathers. I say 'action' shot but actually I just mean 'gentle flying shots'. Here she is, dramatically taking off when Adam sees her in his yard.

Here she is flying towards Adam's house...

The weird thing is that later in the book during the battle with Beast Man you can see Zoar flying around there too and she's NOT losing feathers, despite that being an actual fight sequence.

Maybe the lack of fighting was stressing her out, or something?

I guess in summary this was a really thin, plotless issue with nothing happening in it... but hey it had a stupid, funny art detail I could latch onto, I guess there's that.Yeaaaah... this comic isn't worth reading.

--Andrew S.
(The review copy of this issue was supplied courtesy of thecomicshop.com.au)